So yesterday I took myself to one of my favorite walking trails. I sat down by the bank of the creek to meditate and journal. The water below me was shallow and clear enough to see two turtles in the water. The current was strong and there was a lovely murmuring sound as the water flowed over the rocks.
As I sat and observed I saw that two turtles were trying to cross the creek in the water but were reluctant to step into the strong current for fear of being swept away. I watched them try several different paths to get across and each time they hit the side with the rapid current and would turn back to try another route. After a while they decided to just go for it and walked directly into the rapid water getting swept away and using their legs to move themselves to the other side. It was not a straightforward path but they both made it to the other side.
It struck me how often I am like this. I know where I want to go but don't see the clear easy path laid out for me. I don't want to step into the fast moving water, where I no longer have the illusion of full control or even partial control. I might drown or end up at the wrong destination.
Yet many times in the last 5 years I have found myself in that pull of the current. All I have is just my essential self, my desire and my faith that life is for me. I need both arms to swim and so I’ve had to let go of the mask that I had been holding up. I decided that caring how other people see me is too heavy and let that go. Now I can feel the water and the way, moment by moment. In love with now. The adventure and wonder of a life led by a wild soul.