Dear Wild Souls,
Let's talk about truth. Today there is nothing I love more than raw, deep, beautiful honesty. Even if its the last thing I want to hear (don't even get me started on expectations). I want the truth.
There was a time when I couldn't handle the truth (Jack Nicholson voice). My ego was too fragile. I was looking for validation, worthiness and love outside of myself and once I had it I feared losing it. Really, when I wasn't able to fully love and validate myself the truth was the last thing I wanted to hear. What if they tell me something I fear is true about myself. How could I cope with that. Run! Shut down this conversation. Change the subject. Don't ask.
So I didn't ask the questions that needed to be asked. I didn't start conversations that might lead to sticky uncomfortable truths but could also let us go deeper. I didn’t ask for what I wanted or needed. I swallowed my truth. Often I hid the truth from those I held close and did not want to lose or inconvenience. Above all, I hid it from myself.
Nothing has changed me more in the last 5 years than my commitment to own and speak my truth. I’ve grown to love it. I am turned on by the truth. I will say it, what’s on my mind and what’s in my heart. I’m willing to be vulnerable and take the risk. All for my love of the truth and radical authenticity.
Now I crave it, the awkward truth, the embarrassing truth, the scary truth, the raw truth, the inconvenient truth, the sexy truth. Its coming out. Like it or not. The less I attach, control or manipulate the more room I have for the truth and it feels so f**cking good.